Head fuck

X-files arrived yesterday.
7, 8 and 9 to complete the collection and i couldn't be happier. You should see my face, some think i'm insanely happy some think i should stop scaring little children. Fuck it, they deserve it the wee bastards. Kids nowadays are pricks. All of them. They suck. One thing they are is useless. When was the last time you looked at a child in a pram and thought, "yup, i could use him later in the week" or " Yon id come in handy of a friday evening."
You see, useless.
They sit there all innocent and all gurgly, warm as fuck and they decide when to smile or laugh or cry or puke, the twisted comfortheavers that they are, the pricks.
They are fed, clothed, walked, strolled, comforted, spoiled and fucking useless.


There you go, BABIES SUCK LARGE EGGS



but they are cute at times

The times they are Arnold Schwarznegger

Ow, dat heurt.

Greetings chum.................ps
This blog thing has me weighted down as i wait for new material to transcribe to you in a fashion befitting of a vagabond on skates. (i don't know what he means either)

Last night was a soccer night. An underage and overpowered Arsenal side competed tediously against the quaffid odour of Manchester United Corp. It was a horrible match, complete with football and the wrong grass. Utd won the match with a goal in under 20 from the kick off. So what, they're all nompties who deserve arsenic in their oats, the fags.

Liverpool, who God himself supports, faired well in a match complicated by such rancorous activities as ball-passing and goaltending. The match, as it stood, should have fallen Tottenham Hotspurs' way, especially since they fielded a full strength team against a Liverpool side replete with youngsters. They foraged and faltered until the game spilled into 2 periods of extra time. Of course, the Spurs had it all sewn up with a 108min strike from Daniel Day Lewis (played by Jermain Defoe,) or so they thought, as, with only three mins left on the clock a ball trundled aerodynamically into the home sides box and was inconceivably handled by Wallace Shawn (an Oscar-winning performance from Fredi Kanoute) to leave The Almighty's favourites with a spot kick which Brad Renfro (artistically rendered by Florent Sinama-Pongolle) angled past the luckless David Caruso (Paul Robinson) to leave the score at one all after full time, clearing the way for the dreaded penalty shootout. This spectacle ended with Liverpool of England emerging victorious.
The draw for the next round was made and we drew Watford in the next round when we so easily could have drawn Utd or Chelsea who drew each other. Way it goes.

Ok it's been a busy day today so it's taken me approx 4 hours to write this utterly unimportant trial of my shite language use. Again, way it goes.

Time to dawdle

As the festive spirit surrounds me, at times i hope that it is a female spirit. Yes, X-mas is coming and it will soon be time to wake up at 10:30 morning of the 25th and clamber to find some cleanish clothes, head for the kitchen and fire down a small lump of filet mignon seated beside a dollup of Heinz's finest. The Christmas day routine has yet to remind me of the word "fantastic" or " splendid", don't get me wrong, Christmas can be a fun time, just not the morning. So, ever since i started to care less about what was mine under that tree i started to sleep more on Christmas Eve. It was easier, no anticipation, no worries.
My day consists of waking up, washing, clothing, eating - Churching. Now, born of a mixed religion couple but having being brought up to learn the works of Christ in a longer sentence or 6 versed hymnal i instantly found the church and what it stands for very fucking boring for the following reasons.
No TV's
No distorted or clean electric guitar. No, just a friggin pipe organ and a shit one at that.
No talking amongst yourself or into your phone.
No eating unless its a small cuboid of bread to be washed down with some rank wine.
Listen to the rector when in his pulpit giving his boring sermon

Ok, probably not fair on the church there, they try hard to keep us excited its just, until another Messiah comes and we have film we can watch at church, the source material is pretty bland.

Then its home and time for presents.
Zip
It's over
The most fun you can have during Christmas which doesn't involve drugs, alcohol, food or carnality is opening your presents. Your endorphins get a good but brief walk as you delve into what you newly own.
Within 3 mins its over
For another year,
Again.
Way it goes.
So you wait and wait and wait watching shit tv, waiting for food.
Food rocks, Christmas food rocks like Queen. Fantastic, with the turkey and the ham and the sprouts and the spuds and the Gravy, My parents and Gary, Shaquille, Mark and David all love it too.
A happy family
Then we get pissed and stoned. Don't know what happens


This is my first blog ever.
It sucks

Gerry

Gerry, you must die.

Hmmm, yes, that'll do!